Tuesday, December 7, 2010

game on....again!

As you know I told you that I cheated a little after Thanksgiving. Well I wasn't totally honest. I cheated a bunch. I cheated from Friday after Thanksgiving until last night. I was bitter and wanted to not have to diet. I went right back to old habits and ate totally off track including Pepsi (which is from the devil I will add) I can't go easy and cheat a little I go nuts. I ate my ass off. Ok, not off or I would have lost weight but you get the point.
Here is what I have noticed while cheating. I am tired and feel out of energy most of the time. It is hard to get up in the morning and I don't feel like doing anything. Is this a way to live? No! I want to fit into the clothes in my closet and feel good so today I am back on. Am I happy about it? No! I love food and eating but this is how I got fat. I skipped my doctor/nutritionist appt. for the last 2 weeks but I am going back tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and had a little talk with my hubby. He asked if I was going to wait until after the holidays to get back on track. My response was No. If I wait until after the holidays I will gain all 32 pounds back that I worked so hard to lose. I lost a bunch of weight before and was 19 pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight before garrett. I kick myself all the time that I let myself go and go back up to 225 pounds. I am catching myself before I am back over 200 this time and getting my butt back in gear.
I have eaten on track all day today so far and I am bitter and don't want to do it but I know I have to. I need to get back to being excited to get up and get on the scale each day to see how great I am doing. I am not going to get up and pray that my pants still fit anymore. Today is that new day and I am back. Excited? No but back.
thanks everyone for letting me vent.
Ali

1 comment:

Renata said...

I'm proud of you. It is hard to start back up after a cheat, but you did it and you aren't waiting until after the holidays. You are always real and inspirational. Thank you for being you.